Whiteboard Project

EP :Track Of The Day by Jack Hayter

Jack Hayter Track by Track  Sucky Tart E.P   release Jan 31st 2011 on Audio AntiHero

Just in case you didn’t  figure it out; Sucky Tart is an anagram the name of  of a famous sailing ship called the Cutty Sark that lies in dry dock in Greenwich. The Cutty Sark was a fast tea clipper; there was a need for speed in the tea trade between Britain and China in the 19th Century.

I  Stole the Cutty Sark

Drunk at one A.M and locked in Greenwich Park. Desperate for a shag he climbs gingerly over the gates and shambles down to the dry dock by the river. After hauling ropes unnoticed for an hour, he triumphantly casts off. What lover could fail to be impressed by the raffish captain with the twinkling blue eyes as he expertly pilots his prize through the undergrowth towards Hither Green.

2 A Dolls House


It’s about this grudge fucking couple. It started out as a rather rude comedy song  and seemed to turn progressively darker with every line. They are wrapped up in their small world of property, home improvements and transactional sex. They have no desire for art ,ideas or travel  even though they have the time and the money. They want children badly but they will make lousy parents.  They are very grown up and I don’t envy them. It’s rather sad. They are not very nice neighbours.

3 A Simple Song 

Someone dying or a lover leaving. That moment when you wonder “Were things really so bad between us that you have to go?” and  you think “Whatever our circumstances  now; we were once great together. If you’re brave you say these things aloud.

4 Jacqui I Won’t Mind


 I got a plasterer once to redo the kitchen wall which I had done myself in an overly rustic fashion. This man’s brother had fallen for his sister- in-law…something that can never end well. I never knew the brothers name and I doubt his sister- in-law was called Jacquie because that’s quite a middle class sort of name. I imagine such a relationship would be rather furtive involving hushed late night phone calls.

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